Tithe in life, chuck it on the Tkach bonfire in death

No, somehow I really don't think so...


I give and bequeath the sum of $_ to

Islamophobia and Kristallnacht

Jim West draws the parallel. Hatred of Islam - fuelled by loony toons like Glenn Beck - is as evil as anti-Semitism.

Caffeinated Confessionalism

No more pedantic species of clergyperson is known in the Christian multiverse than confessional Lutheran pastors. They seem to exist on another level of being to the rest of us, grappling manfully with the complexities of a sixteenth century mindset in a twenty-first century world. Safely shielded behind their off-white dog collars the Enlightenment has yet to shine its warm and healing rays on them. The holy book of these defenders of non-Reformed Protestantism is the Book of Concord, the lens through which everything scriptural and doctrinal must be viewed. "Way back when" Luther, Melanchthon and others put the then emerging evangelical faith (to be distinguished from what Anglo-Reformed types mean by 'evangelical' - that's another blog post) through the sausage machine in order to make it coherent for the intellectually challenged (i.e. small children and members of the German nobility.) What emerged was a compendium of documents known collectively as the Book of Concord.

You can tell a confessional Lutheran from a sane Lutheran by their unquenchable desire to praise the unspeakable excellencies of the BoC. It's much more than the equivalent of an Anglican regard for those forgettable Thirty-nine Articles, or the nonsense Presbyterians of a certain persuasion prate about the Westminster Confession. Confessional Lutherans are people of the book, and the book is the BoC.

It doesn't help of course that the BoC is as riveting as a 1953 telephone directory. Nor does it help that most church members neither read it nor own it. Most can lay their hands on the most popular bit, Luther's Small Catechism - a cutting edge document for the instruction of illiterate peasant kids by the time-honoured rote memorisation method, and a few might be able to dust off a copy of the Augsburg Confession, but whoever found devotional inspiration in the Smalcald Articles?

Enter hip, young and thoroughly caffeinated Missouri Synod pastor Jonathan Fisk. You have to wonder just how many Red Bulls it takes for this bloke to warm up for the camera. And how can he speak so about the saintly Zwingli? (Jim, forgive him!) No shades of grey here, the BoC is "the doctrinal symbol of the true church on earth," "perfect teaching; yes, true doctrine is possible"? Perhaps it's no surprise that Fisk is a convert from a marginal heretical sect (possibly Methodism).

But hey, the guy is kinda entertaining, which isn't something you can say about many LCMS clergy. And the gratuitous sideswipes at Catholic tradition and the Heidelberg Catechism will just make you yearn for the good old days when piety and true doctrine mattered - the Thirty Years' War.

Of long drops and banana frosting

I hate Winter. Rain, colds, flu, fog, short days, chilly evenings...

I hate not being able to get out for a regular walk, what the previous generation called a "constitutional." And while some of my own generation - and you know who you are - have capitulated to the demands of telemarketers to join a gym, that is a luxury denied to those of us with real jobs, restricted lunch breaks and long commutes.

Do I sound a bit grumpy?

Well, I'm making excuses for irregular blogging of late as I nurse a box of tissues. As I said, I hate Winter.

But even in the Southern hemisphere Winter is invariably followed by Spring, and August - the cursed month - is about to morph into September.

Watching TV news coverage of floods in Pakistan and China with their human toll, however, I'm a bit embarrassed to think there's anything at all worth complaining about in this neck of the woods. Auckland is a long way from the monsoon belt, even if it is built on supposedly dormant volcanoes. And now the bad news has extended to the African nation of Niger where yet more floods have turned an already terrible situation into a catastrophe. Real people, real loss.

Maybe theologies should be categorised by seasons too. I'm pretty sure Calvin cooked up his hateful stew on a grey Winter day, and Augustine had a persistent head cold when he invented original sin.

Luther, we know for a fact, was constantly constipated, which explains a good deal as well as providing one of my favourite stories (actually my only story) about the link between chilly castle long-drops and grace. I'd relate it now, but it's best told with the appropriate sound effects... I'm sure Luther himself would feel short-changed without the grunting sounds.

As the Crowded House number goes, you need to take the weather with you. Easier said than done, especially when a horde of Bible-quoting pessimists keep slagging off the human species as mired in its own total depravity. And the sad truth is that many Christians seem to think that the weather they need to internalise is, well, Winter's blast. Bah, humbug!

I know of a Christian community (loosely defined) where they've tried in recent years to flush away the Winter blues by introducing a genetically modified post-Barthian perversion of Reformed theology into their orthodoxy, along with a good deal of arm waving into their orthopraxis. Not a pretty sight. A bit like putting banana frosting on a traditional fruit cake. But that's another box of tissues.

Spring? Bring it on!

The Historical Jesus

I finally got around to reading the IVP Academic title The Historical Jesus this week. It features a diverse group of scholars who present their 'take' on the subject, and provide short, sharp responses to the other contributors. Those involved are:

Bob Price: Former Baptist, currently Episcopalian, and widely read in skeptical circles. Jesus didn't exist, but that's OK.
John Dominic Crossan: Progressive Catholic. Jesus opposed Roman imperialism with non-violence.
Luke Timothy Johnson: Conservative Catholic. Jesus is best approached as a faith-building literary character.
James D. G. Dunn: (I aint sayin' nuthin' about him!)
Darrell Bock: Teaches at Dallas Theological Seminary - say no more. "I believe, help thou everyone else's unbelief!"

Actually it's a bit of a shark tank. These guys aren't afraid to let rip. Bob Price and Dom Crossan aren't the only ones to get beaten up with lead-weighted crucifixes either. I picked up this book with some clear prejudices about some of those involved... well, specifically Johnson and Bock. Bock didn't disappoint, he definitely lives up (down, sideways) to his so-called 'evangelicalism'. Johnson however impressed me; though I don't buy his approach, he's obviously a very perceptive character, and I might even have to go back and reread his The Real Jesus. Dunn surprised me too, though I'll leave any comment on that to another time. Well worth the investment!

30 minutes with Doug & the Weasel

Dear lord, Mike Feazell has conned Douglas Campbell into an interview for Grace Communion International (formerly the Worldwide Church of God.) Jason Goroncy - who seems relentlessly impressed by the ongoing Feazell Follies - draws attention to the video on his blog.

What can you say about Campbell? Well, he has a fantastic accent... He writes big, dense books... and even Mike seems a bit out of his depth (and frankly bored) this time. If you're not into this kind of thing you'll probably not want to invest thirty non-refundable minutes of your life this way.

Campbell sounds at times like a fundamentalist: "this person God," "demonic forces." Clearly he's not, the man is merely Reformed. The most exciting moment in the half hour for me was when Campbell actually lifted up and drank from the "You're Included" coffee mug. Hey, I thought it was just a prop!

Earlier I did a potted review of Campbell's doorstop The Deliverance of God.

Bonhoeffer quote

"If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction."