Saturday, 23 October 2010

Calvin was a Hobbit

Sonimax. Is there a hobbit inside?
According to a report on, Google searches for images of actor John Callin who is to play Oin in the forthcoming Hobbit movie, "brings up a number of pictures of John Calvin, the leader of the Protestant reformation."

A couple of points: 1. Exactly who voted to make Calvin "the leader" of the Reformation. The leader of the deviant Geneva pseudo-reformation I'll grant you...

2. Could it be that Calvin was in fact a hobbit? An evil, twisted hobbit of course, and perhaps half-hobbit, half-human? That might explain his tortured, humourless soul somewhat. Though hobbits are usually regarded as convivial types, Calvin clearly suffered from deep identity issues and has long been regarded as lacking in the more human/humane attributes.

The clincher is that Callin - the hobbit actor who currently "channels" Calvin - is the voice of Sonimax in Power Rangers Jungle Fury. Coincidence?

In fact, when you think about it, John Knox was probably an orc. Even if he wasn't, I'm pretty sure Sydney Archbishop Peter Jensen is...


  1. Sorry, I got nothing connecting Calvin to modern pop culture, but if you can stand it, there's an old story from the Ozarks that mentions the Calvinist idea that human beings are worthless scum, totally depraved.

    In a discussion around the stove in a general store, an old hillbilly--excuse me, I should use the politically correct term. An old altitude-enhanced person from a Pentecostal congregation was going on and on about sin. A Primitive Baptist neighbor listened for a while and said, "Wait, I'm not clear exactly what foundation you're working from. Do you believe in the doctrine of total depravity?"

    The old boy's eyes got shifty, and he pondered the question a good long while. Finally he answered, "Yes, I do, as long as it's lived up to."

  2. I got nothing connecting Calvin to anything at all, except the fact that people who say "There's only one Chosen Elect!" like we used to, are allegedly Calvinist, or so the epithet goes. Epithet which I've thrown in my time, I admit, but not really understanding what I was saying when I was using it, beyond that it involves the "Special Chosen Elect" theology.

    Y'know, Gavin, I know you want to move on (Lovecraft's Elder Gods know I want to move on, too.), but you've got to consider the fact that the most-commented on posts here are the ones that still deal with the mess.

    You know. The Mess. The one that used to be our shared religion, and is now...not. Or is something psychotically in between being a mess and not a mess and nothing much of anything at all.

    It's always going to be a mess, at least until the very last one of us touched (and I do mean "touched" sometimes) by the whole thing are long gone, dead, and buried. (I include myself in that.) Prior to that time...there will always be tendrils of it, clinging everywhere.

    Sticky cobwebs hanging from the cluttered attic ceilings inside our heads, the black widow spider at the centre long-since shrivelled-up, but still hanging by a thread. (Appropriate train of thought for Samhain, no?)