That wicked but loveable reprobate, Dennis Diehl, has an offer for you! Now is certainly the time, especially for those worried about what is happening in the Untied United Church of God, to do a little upskilling. Sign up your whole congregation.
(Disclaimer: there is such a thing as satire y'know... Thanks Den, great to hear from you! I'll get back to you about the misuse of the holey [sic] name of Calvin later.)