It'll come as no surprise to readers who know about the LCG and its Tomorrow's World broadcast to hear that Tricky Dick had isolated exactly seven surefire strategies, seven being a biblical number and all. No surprise either that he puttered through a few choice proof texts per strategy, to demonstrate just how relevant the Good Book is on personal health issues.
It was all pretty much par for the course - the usual recycled scripts that LCG and cognate groups have been using for decades. To be honest, I was paying more attention to the tacky graphics than the "same old, same old" as Ames launched into strategy two (exercise regularly!) when the appropriate proof text flashed up on the screen. He had just been mentioning the value of regular walking for older folk. Now that's a fine bit of advice, but hardly something you could 'prove' from scripture. right?
Well, land sakes... A quick check of the program on their website reveals that Ames did use the word metaphor just before, but even so this is sailing perilously close to the exegetical wind, even for the LCG.
But, how many viewers would care? Immediately following on from Tomorrow's World was a homegrown
Interesting. I wonder if he was aware of Creflo Dollar's ongoing series, similar, but somewhat deeper and more inspiring.
ReplyDeleteBB
strategies to overcome stress
ReplyDeleteI have one: Don't listen to or watch Tomorrow's World.
Haven't you figured that one out yet?
First and foremost these guys are salesmen
ReplyDeleteThank you.
And BB, every time I see Creflo Dollar's name I think of the cops going through his septic tank and removing $100 dollar bills as evidence to support Creflo's servant's allegation that he used $100 bills as toilet paper. That will be stuck in my mind all my life.
Jack, if true, your anecdote about Creflo Dollar would be a very shocking abuse, in fact it almost rises to the fiscal irresponsibility of the Armstrongs.
ReplyDeleteI went to Snopes, and found absolutely nothing. Then I Googled "Creflo Dollar's Septic Tank", and the only link that came up specifically for that was one of the old Weinland watch sites that were so popular a couple of years ago when Weinerdude was on the rampage.
BB
Garvin R,
ReplyDeleteYou wrote: "...It was all pretty much par for the course - the usual recycled scripts that LCG and cognate groups have been using for decades..."
Really! Is that really true? Yes, I believe it is even though at the end of the living group's telecast comment is made that what they have to offer the viewers: "...is not available anywhere else..."
You are saying it is available in other cognate groups and again, yes, I agree...the living group is NOT as unique as they profess to be...
John
BB,
ReplyDeleteI remember reading the article (no more than five years ago) and then clicking on the link which lead to a Florida newspaper story. The article detailed the sheriffs dept searching his septic tank and finding $100 bills. The complaint was made by his maid and he subsequently made an apology in front of his congregation. This is very vivid in my memory.
I too just spent the better part of an hour with two search engines and found nothing on it. Since I do not believe Dollar is rich and powerful enough to have Google delete such a story I am having doubts to the validity of that article. So I guess I owe Creflo Dollar an apology.............or nothing at all. Now I'm wondering if it was an April fools joke.
Yes, if the police had removed $100 bills from Creflo Dollar's septic tank as evidence, it would be well known, but it's not.
ReplyDeleteBut I felt compelled to do a google search anyway, which yielded nothing in the septic tank department; only things I've heard of before, such as the following-
He has been criticized for his lavish lifestyle as he owns two Rolls-Royces, a private jet, a million dollar home in Atlanta, and a 2.5 million dollar home in Manhattan. Dollar has refused to disclose his salary and Creflo Dollar Ministries received a grade of "F" for financial transparency by the organization MinistryWatch.
The closest thing I can think of to the idea of police removing cash from Dollar's septic tank, is when people looked for(and found) in dumpsters, evidence of TV preacher Robert Tilton being a fraud.
Well, as far as I am concerned, they are all frauds. Part of the hollywood entertainment system. They sell what people want to hear.
ReplyDeleteAs for that Creflo Dollar article; it seemed so real, complete with a link to a newspaper with details of investigation and admission.
The moral of this story:
Something can seem so real that it is accepted and promoted as fact for a long time, but upon proper investigation can turn out to be complete Baloney Sandwiches. Even exceedingly intelligent people can be deceived.
So I guess I owe Creflo Dollar an apology...
ReplyDeleteYou could send Creflo a dollar- or even a hundred- depending on your level of remorse.
I'm sure the routine maintenance on those Rolls Royces (which I'm sure he uses to clothe and feed the poor) is not cheap.
I do not know if there's an OT remedy outlined for your misdeed, but to be on the safe side you could give Creffy one of your daughters to be his or Taffy's slave. Those multimillion dollar homes don't clean themselves, ya know!
I think of the cops going through his septic tank and removing $100 dollar bills as evidence. That will be stuck in my mind all my life.
Hopefully not for much longer. Here's the scenario I thought of-
Barney Fife dons his swim-mask, snorkel, and swim fins, ready to dive into Creflo Dollar's septic tank looking for evidence.
Floyd the Barber: "You wont find a thing. Mr. Dollar is a true man of god. He's the first black man I ever shaved. His skin was soft...sooo soft..."(Floyd runs his fingers over his face and seems to go into a trance)
Opie: "Hey Barn, ya got yer swim fins on backwards!"
Barney: "I knew that, Ope! I was testing to see how alert you were."
Aunt Bea and Clara pass out freshly baked crumpets to the crowd of townspeople looking on.
Aunt Bea: "Ooooh, this is the biggest thing that's ever happened in Mayberry!"
A giant turd suddenly floats to the top of the septic tank, and Barney's eyes bulge as he points with a shaky finger and declares, "THAT'S the biggest thing that's ever happened in Mayberry!"
Andy: "Barn, it's yer civic duty. You are a man of the Law. Thelma Lou will be proud as the dickens!"
Barney: "Thelma Lou?"
Opie: "Yep, Barn. She's at the diner now, making tater tots for you!"
Barney: "Thelma Lou? Tater tots? I'm your man, Ange. I'm going in!"
Floyd the Barber: "You wont find a thing. Mr. Dollar's skin is smooth...sooo smooth..."(Floyd runs his fingers over his face again while seeming to go into another trance)
Barney snorts and sways, and finally jumps in and disappears. Time passes. The tension mounts. The noise of the clocks ticking becomes loud and unbearable.
Finally, a fistful of dollars emerges, followed by the rest of Barney.
Barney: "I GOT IT, ANGE, I GOT IT!"
Floyd the Barber: "I told you that Creflo Dollar was no good! There was something about his skin- so black and all."(Floyd slowly runs his fingers over his face while seeming to go into trance again)
Andy: "Good police work, Barn! Do you still have your bullet?"
Barney checks his shirt pocket, and exclaims, "Awww, fiddlesticks!"
Jack, and Norm:
ReplyDeleteI don't send tithes and offerings to Creflo, precisely because I'm familiar with the things contained in the paragraph Norm reproduced. Conspicuous opulence always raises my suspicions.
I'm also not a great fan of those who preach what has become known as "the prosperity" gospel. Still, in Armstrongism, we learned so much negativity, and gloom and doom, that I do find it therapeutic and edifying to be exposed to ministers who preach a positive message about the blessings today in this physical life for being followers of Jesus Christ, but only so far as that teaching can be supported by scripture. That's not the extent of my spiritual diet, but it is a very positive element, and often encouraging. Creflo does seem to have good scriptural understanding of the concept of transactions.
Had we been able to verify the septic tank story as factual, I would have rejected Creflo Dollar as any kind of spiritual resource. That would have been a bridge burner, a total destroyer of any credibility that the man might have. I might add that I appreciate being given the heads up on this, because what we don't know can often hurt us.
BB
I do not know if there's an OT remedy outlined for your misdeed, but to be on the safe side you could give Creffy one of your daughters to be his or Taffy's slave.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure if Creflo knows the OT as well as he is supposed to know it, he could have me stoned or worse. But I did not bear false witness, it was the person who wrote the article I read. My testimony is true because I read it with my own eyes, and I did not say I saw those deputies playing in his septic tank.
jack635, imo, it kind of sounds like an Onion story. Or, is it possible it was a dream you had?
ReplyDeleteByker Bob, I think I understand you better now that you have explained that you are on the rebound from a more negative teaching, and are now relishing teaching that focuses more about blessings.
Heck, I may now even be tempted to not tease you about your "miracle hot-rod transmission from Jesus"
I'm not sure what you "appreciate being given the heads up on", though, because the story jack635 read isn't true, my Barney Fife story isn't true, and you are already familiar with criticism of Creflo Dollar's ministry.
jack635, imo, it kind of sounds like an Onion story. Or, is it possible it was a dream you had?
ReplyDeleteIt was not a dream. I read the story and clicked on the link to prove to myself it was not a joke.
I can't believe I just spent another two hours on the internet searching for it so I could defend my honesty.
I found it. But the name and some of the details have been changed. It has also become much more detailed, but alas, no newspaper link.
Surprise surprise, it is on an atheist site. This leads me to believe it is a rolling joke which will continue on into the future.
Here is the link
Ah-HA- you've found it!
ReplyDeleteI read it, and found it to be both humorous and an obvious parody.
As I stated above, "The closest thing I can think of to the idea of police removing cash from Dollar's septic tank, is when people looked for(and found) in dumpsters, evidence of TV preacher Robert Tilton being a fraud."
The results of that Tildon investigation were shown on an episode of ABC's Primetime in late 1991, and the parody article that you linked to was posted shortly after that.
Notice that the "Roberto Kilton" of the parody article sounds a lot like "Robert Tilton" who had just been exposed as a fraud.
Here's a few bits from the parody article that are so far out, that they raise the "Parody!" flag quite high-
Dr. Kilton was eager to explain his actions: "I was out of toilet paper, so all I could think to do was to wipe my butt with the money, with the wads and wads of hundred dollar bills that cover the floor of every room in my house."
"This is truly a low moment in my life. I could have used that money to feed Ethiopian children who starve and die by the day while I eat and get fatter by the minute, but instead I used it to wipe my stinking rump."
"I have a Ferrari Enzo and a Ferrari F40 – each of them in two different colors – and I bought another 9.3 million dollar Bugatti Veyron less than a month ago. It was much nicer than the old one I bought a few months before...I just invested in the purchase of a 9th golf course... I own vacation homes in 26 of the 50 states... and I have a solid gold banister leading up to our fourth floor bedroom at the main mansion, draped with cougar and bear skins, with ivory and platinum bedposts."
Pastor... confessed the fact that half of one of the bags was full of discarded bills that were used as maxi pads by his wife and as napkins by their six kids at the dinner table.
When asked what he planned to do about the charges, the pastor said: ..."...my lawyer would only accept a check, and not the barrels of cash I offered him."
"Maybe the atheists are right. Maybe Christians who make tax-dodging pigs like me rich are just retarded, desperate, and naive. Maybe we TV preachers are nothing but pompous, greedy windbags who blow God's money on ourselves as we prey upon the idiocy and gullibility of others. Maybe idiots like me and my friends, Jesse Duplantis, Jimmy Swaggart, Benny Hinn, and Peter Popoff just get rich at the expense of the galactically dumb. I hope they aren't right."
Wilma Wheaton, senior church secretary and friend of the Kilton family for 20 years [said], "... The pastor's house will [now] be kept stocked with toilet paper weekly. That is important because what got pastor into this mess was his heading out to the church burrito cook-off competition and forgetting to have Shameka the maid go by the store for more Angelsoft. Really, it could have happened to any of us!"
Dr. Kilton told us that plans were underway to forego building what would have been his 27th vacation home in the Maui to build what he will call The Chapel of Conservatism, a daily meditation hall to remind him of his wasteful lapse and to prevent any future ones. We were informed that there will be no gold or platinum in the structure. Only silver and bronze and the usual selection of rare tiger skin adornments. "But I will still need your prayers and your financial support, brethren, now more than ever." pastor added.
Excuse me for getting back on topic, but.... :-)
ReplyDeleteThe use of I John 2:6 to justify walking for exercise is truly stretching Scripture to Gumby-like proportions.
If only someone had invented the bicycle before our Savior was born. How different would things be??
If only someone had invented the bicycle before our Savior was born. How different would things be??
ReplyDeleteI don't know.
Maybe He'd have ridden on water, while wearing a spiffy cycling jersey.
Certainly, you'd see preachers on TBN and Daystar today, giving sermons on "what would Jesus ride?", riding their unicycles on the stage while performing miracle healings of untrue wheels.
Of course, the debate would rage as to whether Jesus would have ridden a Huffy "Stovepipe" or a Trek “Butterfly” on the water, since some would say Jesus is all about prosperity and the finest things, while others would say it takes a greater act of faith to take a heavy piece of crap out on the water.