Inquisitions, M&Ms and, um, other matters

Now how could you resist this? 

"The long awaited Human Bible episode eight arrives! This week we look into some of the harsh lessons the Bible teaches, most involving some kind of horrible death. We introduce a new segment called "Audience Inquisition in which we ask you, dear listener, for some answers. This week we ask if you've ever heard someone ‘quote' something from the Bible that isn't actually in the Bible.

"We also wonder where the heck the original writings that make up the Bible actually are. My first guess: the same mysterious place that entire bag of M&M's I dropped down the couch went. And, we inquire about the most distant places from Jerusalem that the Bible mentions.

"And, most important of all, we break some news about the Bible and masturbation. It's good news, people. I mean, uh, it's probably good news for this one friend of mine."