Joel, Joel, tell us it ain't so!

Meekeravelli and members of CGWA?

Joel "Machiavelli" Meeker? Perhaps so. I don't know Joel... never met him. But his reputation has long gone before him, and it isn't exactly unalloyed good. Remember (if you're a UCG watcher) the petulant tirade that followed Aaron Dean's election to the Council of Elders? And now Tom Robinson has revealed what seem to be machinations on Joel's part to tear the French church away from the UCG while still accepting a paycheck from that organisation.

Does this strike anyone as unethical?

HT to Gary over at BBHWA.

After the Dust Settles

It's one of those Life of Brian moments in the United Church of God. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if they added Always look on the bright side of life to the next printing of their hymnal.

The lads are already accentuating the positive by talking about "new beginnings." It is a measure of just how dysfunctional things must have been that everyone who remains seems to be fairly gushing about the church's future prospects. Vic Kubik seems genuinely upbeat about the pounding UCG has taken.

What a wonderful and energized conference we just held in Cincinnati! Several of you commented about our new beginning, energy and enthusiasm to preach the gospel, as well as to serve the churches... The focus of the conference was not only on ministerial service in the churches but also continuing the momentum we’ve achieved in publicly proclaiming the gospel. Our media services department has come through this crisis virtually intact... We were heartened by the optimistic spirit of moving on. We have come through a serious separation, yet we are optimistic for a strong recovery...

For your information, in early 2010, there were 492 credentialed elders in the United Church of God, an International Association. Of that number, 323 (66%) are still with UCG. Of that total, we have retained 62 of 131 salaried field ministers (47%); 15 of 20 elders salaried by the home office (75%); 9 of 14 retired elders (64%); and 237 of 327 non-salaried elders (73%). In the United States, we have retained 250 of 382 elders (65%). Of that total, we have retained 46 of 100 salaried field ministers and 180 of 248 non-salaried elders (73%).

Obviously I need to take the same brand of happy-pills that Dennis Luker is prescribing, because I just don't see those stats as in the least encouraging. A bit like the bloke who has fallen off a ladder and tells concerned onlookers, as he lies there unable to move, "I'm fine, don't fuss, it's all good."

If UCG survives, the more thoughtful approach taken by the current administration seems certain to become entrenched (let's face it, the not-so-loyal opposition have tossed their toys out of the playpen and then all crawled off.) The best of the US ministry have stayed put - though of course that's a generalisation with exceptions to prove the rule. No more need to "kick against the pricks" (to steal a marvellous King James expression) because Joel and his bad-tempered buddies have headed off into the wilderness. But is relentless optimism and a sunny disposition enough to arrest the very real demographic decline that has been evident in UCG from long before the current blowout?

CGWA Soda - flat and tepid?

Is it my imagination, or has the fizz gone from the CGWA soda can? CGWA? That's the anointed acronym for Kilough and assorted hangers-on.

I'm old enough (sigh) to remember the buzz that surrounded other schisms in the past, with excited talk of "new beginnings" and an avalanche of supporting material hitting letter boxes quick smart. In contrast this breakaway group seems to elicit little more than a reluctant grunt. The website is completely uninspiring, and those who do run their own sites - Ken Treybig springs to mind - seem to have to little energy to update them. There are indications that some of the ministers who got caught up in the split are now ruing their decision. Let's face it, most of these blokes are too old for this sort of drama, happy to belly-ache, averse to innovate. History can only repeat itself so many times before ennui sets in.

So is CGWA viable? Probably, at least in the short term, but not as a significant player. As we used to say in less culturally sensitive times, "too many chiefs and not enough Indians." Some of these guys have egos as big as Texas, and I suspect the rest have substantial personality disorders... except for those who qualify for both.

Meanwhile the parent body seems to have staunched the hemorrhaging for now, and are pretending everything is rosy. They've even got their "literature" appearing on the Barnes and Noble website as e-book downloads. Uh, okay...

Journal charts UCG split

The latest issue of The Journal is out, and carries a number of features relating to the recent UCG split, including an interview with one of UCG's founding elders, Ray Wooten. Spare a thought for members of the Big Sandy, Texas UCG, most of whom have defected to the new organisation, leaving their church building in the control of their former affiliation. (UCG congregations rarely own or meet in church buildings; Big Sandy was one of the few exceptions.) Of course almost everyone is willing to rattle their tonsils with an opinion, and a previous Otagosh post occasioned by the turmoil appears on page 3 (the original can be found here.) The Dave Havir piece is worth reading for a little objective insight on the people behind the splinter sect.

One other item I can't help but mention. A group that calls itself the Church of Christian Commandment Keepers has created a website called - wait for it - hermanhoeh.info. Herman is described there as "a spiritual successor to Herbert W. Armstrong," and I guess we're expected to believe that this little band are now Herman's spiritual successors. Sadly there are no downloads of the famous Compendium of World History, just a collection of Her-manic sermons.

A sampler of the current Journal is available as a free PDF (pages 1, 3, 5 and 32), but if you're into the COG scene, now would probably be the time to get a full subscription.

The Missouri Schism and UCG

I was still but a pup when the Missouri Synod exploded under the leadership of the loathsome "Chairman Jao" (J.A.O. Preus II, son of a former Republican Governor of Minnesota.) The "civil war" saw the moderates leave and the hardline fundamentalists remain firmly in control of a depleted denomination which, despite the bally-hoo and bravado, then slowly headed into a period of irreversible decline. Anything to learn here? Well yes, if the preface from James Burkee's new study is anything to go by. It's not so much about religious beliefs as about political worldview.

Power, Politics, and the Missouri Synod: A Conflict That Changed American Christianity is about to be published by Fortress Press. In the preface he relates a tour of Lutheran churches in Milwaukee prior to the 2004 election. Two speakers each presented a Christian perspective on supporting one of the two main parties. In Missouri Synod churches the Democrat presenter was treated abysmally, while in ELCA congregations the Republican advocate got a hard time. Politics and religion are intertwined, even by those who loudly call for their separation. And of course, you don't have to vote to have a political worldview.

The current situation in the Armstrong enclaves seems a world away, but I suggest the same political dynamics are a factor. I know of a few "closet Democrats" in the UCG/independent factions, but it's hard to imagine that any could survive for long in the more fascist factions (thinking of Pack and Flurry.) As for the latest eruption, it's no coincidence that the tactics of the departing been compared to those of the Tea Party. There has always been a right-leaning Republican skew to the Churches of God, but all things are relative, and the newly formed sect will clearly be more 'conservative' - doctrine has always been a side issue.

The split in UCG, like that in the Missouri Synod long ago, is as much about the culture wars in the surrounding society as anything else.

Whirled Wide

The Louisville lads have decided to confirm the name Church of God, a Worldwide Association. My question: A worldwide association of what?

Not congregations, after all there are no local boards - are there?

Not Christians, as the lay members have no representation, do they?

As far as I understand it, it's an association of ministers. But does an association of ministers make a church?

Of course, the same could be asked of the United Church of God, an International Association. No representation, just a bunch of elders - most hugely underqualified for the task - operating as a hierarchic-structured oligarchy.

Lads, lads, it's not the way of the future.

But these guys think in binary terms. Black/white, right/wrong, hierarchy/anarchy, episcopal/congregational.

Now that most of the control freaks have gone, maybe UCG can revisit their structure. Why not offer two levels of association, centralised and local? Why can't congregations like the Big Sandy church, for example, exist within the fold instead of having to peel off? You want to manage your own finances, fine! You want to elect your own board, great! Everyone has a code of ethics to adhere to, common management policies and a commitment to an agreed doctrinal statement. Fabulous, now go away and make yourselves useful! Maybe those congregations managed from the center would reap some advantages of their own too, especially those which don't have the financial grunt or people-skills needed. Everyone gets together every year or so at a fully representative conference, elders and lay people.

Who would choose which model to operate under? Who would choose their representatives? Why the local people themselves!

How hard could that be? Frankly, it's not rocket science. A couple of semi-intelligent COE members could draft something workable on the back of an envelope over a coffee inside thirty minutes - if they had the will to do so.

Maybe it's time for those remaining with UCG to take the lemons and make lemonade.

The name of the Beast

"Covenant Church of God," "Church of God, Ambassadors for Christ," "Church of God, a Worldwide Association," "Faithful Church of God" and "Church of God, a Christian Association."

Those are the five choices from which the name of new Armstrong sect will be selected according to the latest update from the lads in Louisville (and available here.) Are we all feeling inspired? As far as I can tell, though, there's been no discussion of a church motto yet, so in the spirit of Christian helpfulness I'd like to suggest a few, and invite readers to add to the list.

• Our ministers know best
• Shut up and just do what you're told
• Accredited by God to take your money
• Home of the 65 minute sermon
• We micro-manage your faith
• Lucre not Luker
• Preaching British Israelism, Preparing our Paychecks

 More suggestions?

Inspiration or Manipulation

As usual Gary Leonard's Banned by HWA blog is on top of things on the UCG/xUCG front, carrying a press release from the lads in Louisville regarding the opening service at their conference of ambitious malcontents.

I tuned in to the webcast near the end to hear Arnold Hampton exhorting the troops and playing the victim card. Arnold is a fine speaker with a feel for the dramatic. He knows how to pace his words, one of those few who can really motivate an audience, the Jesse Jackson of the rebellion.

Inspiration or manipulation? As the Hampster trotted out the well-worn catch-cries and war-horse proof texts I wondered at the level of credulity and naivete that would be necessary to sit in the congregation nodding and lapping it all up. Surely it would require a suspension of both prior experience and critical faculties. These people were being massaged and manipulated.

Then again, they were allowing themselves to be massaged and manipulated. Some of these folk have been associated with Armstrongism for decades. They were there in 1972, 1974, 1978 and on and on. They witnessed the rise and fall (and rise and fall) of Garner Ted Armstrong, the ministerial 'rebellion', the receivership crisis, the flip-flops on healing, divorce and makeup, the revelations of John Trechak, the death of the 'apostle' they idolised. Do they honestly think this is anything different?

From frying pan to fire; and now straight down the waste disposal.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me thirty five times plus, and I clearly need someone to tie my shoe laces.

Addendum (via Dennis Diehl)

Just spoke with Dixon [Cartwight of The Journal] and he has been told he is not welcome to be in the meetings in Louisville.

That sound you just heard is the new sect shooting itself in the foot. These guys really don't have a clue!

UCG crisis hits the Philippines

The Philippines is the latest region to be ripped apart by the ongoing schism in the United Church of God with a pastor and local elder resigning. The list of departing elders on the UCG Current Crisis site is now just one below the 150 mark . An interesting visual representation of the divided sect, which is being updated regularly, is available on Stan Gardner's site using Google maps.

The lads are gathering...

... in Louisville. Preliminaries are already underway.

January 6, 2010 – Ministers and their wives began arriving at the Galt House in Louisville, Kentucky, yesterday in preparation for an organizing conference for the Church of God, a Worldwide Association that will be held here January 9-11.

A pre-conference planning team co-chaired by Mike Blackwell and Mark Winner in conjunction with the temporary leadership team will use today (Thursday) and tomorrow to finalize the conference agenda. Other committees will also meet prior to the conference to discuss governmental structure and to ensure the continuity of important church programs.

Today, the interim governance committee, the long-term governance committee, and the administration committee will convene to work on how to structure the new organization. Festival coordinators, camp directors and youth corps administrators will meet on Friday.

Good luck fellas. Considering just who will be turning up, don't expect a smooth ride. More predictable is bull roaring, deal making and back room grandstanding.

Who won't be turning up are the common garden variety members. Except... the hoi polloi have been graciously permitted attendance at the church service.

Members are welcome to attend the Sabbath service that will be held at the Galt House in connection with the conference. Arnold Hampton and Richard Pinelli will deliver split sermons that will be webcast to newly formed congregations around the world. 

 The hoi oligoi in the Armstrong tradition have always had a robust sense of their own entitlement, and it seems that will continue in the new body, with a few extra bells and whistles thrown in. It seems that lay members of this church will certainly be expected to know their place.

Pravda redivivus

The January issue of United News is out, and in colour. Readers are treated to a roundup of stories which largely ignore the big news that continues to break across the embattled denomination; its ongoing breakup. Any readers who had been living in a cave for the last month or so would be hard pressed to emerge, United News in hand, much the wiser. There is a carefully massaged report on the December COE meeting, and the resignations of three members of the council get a passing mention, but for substantial reporting we'll all have to wait for the upcoming issue of The Journal.

Spare a thought though for Journal editor Dixon Cartwright who must have redesigned the front page numerous times over the last week or two trying to get on top of the flood of developments. The Church of God, America rises, gives a two-fingered salute, then disappears as it is subsumed in the new Church of God, a Worldwide Association. Splinter congregations surface, complete with their own boards, only to be pushed under again as the new hierarchy-in-waiting demands that they kowtow to the recycled mullahs. The moment The Journal hits the presses it's likely to already be out of date. Will the Elders of the Exodus permit Cartwright to cover their founding conference? Will the Imperious Leaders condescend to grant interviews? Time will tell.

But back to United where, perhaps without any intention to irony, the January-February issue of the Good News has also been released with a cover asking "Do You Understand the Signs of the Times?"

How very appropriate.

Suggested comments and hymn choice for elders introducing UCG services

(Tap, tap, tap...)

Ah, good afternoon brethren, welcome to services today. As many of you may be aware, this has been something of a rough week for those of us in God's church. Well, maybe more of a rough month (chuckle), but even so, here we all are again, well those of us who are here anyway, and our prayers brethren, and I'm sure you'll all agree, are that those who are no longer with us will realise that the door is always open for their, uh, return.

This afternoon I regret to announce that your pastor, who resigned last Sabbath, has been joined by both of the local elders who are, as I'm sure you know, both fine men, but Satan goes about as a roaring lion, brethren, as I'm sure you also know, and now we all need to be focused on the great future God has in store for us rather than looking behind which, as you'll remember, is what Lot's wife did. (Clears throat.)

So last night Home Office contacted me and asked if I'd come down here today and lead services, which, of course, it was my privilege to do, despite the four hour drive. I bring you warm greetings from everyone at Home Office, and in particular those who are still with us. Let's not let Satan distract us from the great Work we have in front of us, or cause us to lose our salvation by being caught up in rumor and a root of bitterness. As I'll explain in some detail in today's sermon, brethren, there is truly good news in the midst of all that has happened: Despite any appearances and rumors to the contrary, as Mr. Armstrong used to say, God is still on His throne!

[Pause to allow for scattered applause]

Now before we ask Mr., ah, one of the deacons, um, do we have any deacons left? Oh yes. Before the opening prayer, let's open our hymnals and turn to number 76... Now I believe our pianist is now meeting elsewhere, and of course we harbor no ill will toward her, but I don't think it matters as we can do a magnificent job of this unaccompanied. All together now...

Un-less the Lord shall build the house, the wea-ry build-ers toil in vain;
Un-less the Lord the cit-y shields, the guards main-tain a use-less watch.
In vain your rise ere morn-ing break, and late your night-ly vig-ils keep,
And bread of anx-ious care par-take; God gives to His be-lov-ed sleep.

A nod of acknowledgement to the Shadows of WCG blog and its post which quotes the first line of this Dwight Armstrong hymn - number 96 in the old purple hymnal, no.76 in the UCG hymnal.

Well, that's interesting

Behold, some nice paperwork that quite likely dropped off the back of a lorry Louisville bound.

Articles of Incorporation, Church of God, a Worldwide Association, Inc.

Heads up to Purple Hymnal.

Kiwis cast out

It seems the New Zealand UCG has just imploded with Obergruppenführer Jeff Caudle and his lieutenants, Art Verschoor and Andre van Belkum, all being defrocked.

From the way things are being worded it seems they were pushed rather than joyfully embracing the bungy jump. Tough luck guys. Not a great way to start the new year.

As far as I know that's the entire Kiwi church stripped of its ministers.

Meanwhile, out in East Texas, Ken Treybig has posted this update on his website.

Things are in a state of change right now as many fellow elders and I begin planning for a new organization. A temporary name was chosen to get started, Church of God, a Worldwide Association, to convey the fact that local congregations around the world are wanting to join with those formed in the United States.

An organizational conference is being planned for January 9-11, 2011 in Louisville, KY. At that meeting everything (including the name) are "on the table" as we discuss how we will be organized, whether we want to use a different Church of God name, and as we do preliminary work on planning for Feast sites, preteen and teen camps, and focus on our mission of how to preach the gospel and to teach and care for those God calls. A website is under construction at the following URL: http://cogwa.org/

A temporary name that's up for further discussion? Well, I could think of a few really appropriate suggestions...

The Ephesians 4 Smokescreen

Even as I write this, a cabal of ministers recently departed from a minor American denomination are organising themselves into a schismatic body. They're making a lot of Ephesians 4 as the charter for their new organisation's structure. Here's the relevant passage.

11 As for his gifts, to some he gave to be apostles, to others prophets, or even evangelists, or pastors and teachers. 12 So he prepared those who belong to him for the ministry, in order to build up the Body of Christ, 13 until we are all united in the same faith and knowledge of the Son of God.

At first blush it sounds good, but...

But the writer of Ephesians wasn't writing into a vacuum. He had particular issues in mind. For example, he would have had a specific understanding of the role of an apostle and an evangelist. You can be sure that the pouting pastors have a quite different understanding, conditioned by their own distinctive doctrines and history. The embarrassing truth is that an apostle isn't a jet-setting tithe-farmer, and ordination as an evangelist isn't the equivalent of elevation to Britain's House of Lords. Slapping these verses onto the current situation is a bit like prescribing Aspirin for someone who's been electrocuted and is still twitching.

Then there's the unavoidable fact that these geezers aren't claiming to have an apostle or a prophet in their midst. They do have a dead apostle of living memory, but he's not a lot of practical use, other than as a pretext.

Nor do these confused clergy seem to grasp the fact that Ephesians is a less-than "100% proof" source for proof texts. Internal evidence strongly indicates that it was written by someone other than Paul. It isn't regarded as one of his genuine letters.

So why all the ballyhoo over Ephesians 4?

It can be used to justify hierarchy.

Now let's think: no apostles, no prophets, the prospect of a couple of retreaded evangelists from the previous administration (all title, no power)... now what does that leave them with?

Pastors and teachers. And the practice in these circles is to conflate the two into one.

What about garden-variety lay members. Well, what have they got to do with anything? Ephesians 4 doesn't even mention them, right?

(In fact the book of Ephesians is addressed to them: "to the saints in Ephesus, to you who share Christian faith." It's right there in 1:1. Lay engagement and empowerment is assumed throughout, or the writer - who wasn't Paul, but may have been a protégé - would have simply written directly to the pastor.)

Now my dear Watson, the game is afoot!  It would appear that the point of the exercise is to create a comfortable sinecure for a bunch of disgruntled ministers who couldn't handle being accountable to a governing structure which they themselves elected. Decapitate the denominational officers and you have a two-level hierarchy, them and us, dumb sheep and pastors. As they themselves say: "We encourage one another to follow the Ephesians 4 template for the pastor, members, and congregation."

Any provision for checks and balances, for restraints on pastoral authority? None that leap out at you. The new body appears to be a loose association of loose cannons. At the congregational level it's just "pray and pay" members with limited rights (or none at all) and underqualified pastors who hold unaccountable authority.

The potential for abuse is enormous.