The Eternal smote the Philistines with emerods when they knicked off with the Ark of the Covenant. What are emerods? Whatever they were, the Philistines made golden images of them. Some translations suggest hemorrhoids... nasty!
But the latest BAR suggests something different. Aren Maeir argues that the menfolk had a bad case of ED.
ED? Oh, ED... to spell it out, that's erectile dysfunction.
You can follow the logic here. Sadly (or mercifully, depending on your perspective) the photographs in the print edition are missing from the online version.