2012 was another cracker year for rhetorical questions in my favourite COG magazine, The Good News
. The problem, of course, is that even though you know the expected answer as soon as you read the headline, you still have to wade through mountains of text to find out how they get there.
So, as a public service in the public interest, Otagosh presents the answers to those great GN questions. Not that we can answer the lot - and some clearly defy a logical response - but a representative selection appears below. The format is simple. First the question, then the predictable answer (without all the journalistic blather), and finally the real answer. Just think of all the time you'll save by not having to hunt through the back issues!
Q. Europe's Woes: Setting the Stage for Bible Prophecy?
Q. Does the Koran Promote Peace and Cooperation?
RA. In about the same measure as the Hebrew Bible.
Q. What Can You do when Life Isn't Fair?
A. Read the free booklet at the end of the article.
RA. Not a lot, but stay positive.
Q. Planet Earth: Lucky Accident or Master Handiwork?
A. Master Handiwork.
RA. Uh, can we please have more than two options here?
Q. Do Science and the Bible Conflict?
A. No, as long as the Bible is understood to trump bad science.
RA. Yes, as long as you insist on fundamentalist assumptions about the Bible.
Q. Is Europe Going Under?
A. No, there's a prophesied resurrection of the Roman Empire on the horizon.
RA. Yes, continental drift should see to that eventually.
Q. Did Adam and Eve Really Exist?
Q. Would Jesus Attend Your Church?
A. Not unless your church is the United Church of God.
RA. He'd probable look up the local synagogue first.
Q. How Can You Understand the Rapidly Changing World Scene?
A. Keep misinterpreting Bible texts the way we do.
RA. Stay away from Fox News.
Q. Has America Lost it's Way?
A. Yes, just look at the moral decline under President Obama.
RA. No, it's more likely finding it.
Q. Is the Stage being set for the Fulfillment of Daniel 11?
Q. Does Marriage Matter?
Q. What's Behind the Gay Agenda?
A. Satan and the Democrats.
RA. Human rights and dignity for all.
Q. What's the Real Truth About Christmas?
A. It's pagan.
RA. It's a occasion to get together with family and affirm those values you keep preaching about. Get over it!