Tuesday, 30 April 2013

The Rhetorical Gospel

As many of us know, certain churches relish wielding the rhetorical question when it comes to presenting their distinctive beliefs. The place to find a few choice examples is in church publications that are focused on building their credibility among members and prospective members by pandering to ignorance and prejudice. One such publication is the United Church of God magazine The Good News.

Here are a few of the article titles from the March-April edition of that fine periodical, with a response that is, in each case, somewhat different from that intended.

Will the World see a New Caliphate?
No time soon.

Where are the "Lost 10 Tribes" Today?
Lost. Dispersed. Absorbed. Gone.

Who Really Killed Jesus?
Some white guys who lived around 30 CE.

Did Jesus Fulfill His Prophecy of How Long He Would be Entombed?
Um, did Jesus actually make a prediction in the first place? (That's also a rhetorical question by the way.)

How Much do You Know About the Biblical Feast of Unleavened Bread?
More than enough to know the the UCG's version of it isn't all that biblical.

God, Science & the Bible: Hummingbirds - How Do They Do That?

Current Events & Trends: Is World War III Becoming More Plausible?
No more than in the 1960s when Herb Armstrong was predicting the Tribulation for 1972.

Current Events & Trends: If U.S. Fades economically, will Europe Rise?
China more likely.

Current Events & Trends: Is it wise for Israel to strike Syria now?
Holy crap no! Is this really a Christian publication? (Another rhetorical response.)

Yes, The Good News. Neither good nor news. Can't wait for the May-June number!


  1. "Neither good nor news".

    Isn't THAT the truth.

  2. Just how many times do we have to point out that in the New Testament that 6 of the tribes of Israel are mentioned explicitly and that 12 - 6 = 10 doesn't work out in any numbering system we can think of and hence there have never been any 10 lost tribes of Israel.

    However, there are at least 300+ lost tribes of the Cult of Herbert Armstrong, of which United is at least 40+ of them (we lost count in 2005) what with CoGWA being only one of the later ones.

    Anyway, if any of the tribes were lost it would invalidate the Old Testament prophet who claimed that they would be sifted among the nations and not a grain of them would be lost -- effectively putting the UCG in the position of accusing God of lying.

    Oh, well, that's the fashion of the day (we get that sense from "Fragmentation of a Sect").